My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
