we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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