I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
operation harelip BJ is a go
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
