You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
