Midget sex pt 2 tonight
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i was born a porn star she said
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Randomize
