I seem to have left my pride at pride
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
No subtext here. People are naked.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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