Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i already hear my dad disowning me
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
