Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
