dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
