My nipple is on Facebook.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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