I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
