Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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