Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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