If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
