so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
