...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
