worst night to have a conscience
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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