What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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