you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
