in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
