did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
