My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
