Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
