Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
