i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
