how can u be prego again
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
