Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
