I think my vagina is haunted
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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