I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
