just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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