HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
