I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
