During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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