You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
