Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
