I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
