There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
