he wants to bone in the snuggie
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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