it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
