fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
