no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
