White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
