: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
