if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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