Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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