she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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