How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
This is the high leading the old right now
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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