We're like a lot better than the average bears
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
