how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
