ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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