You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
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