All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
