Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
