I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
